I'm rich !!! I'm rich I tell you ;¬)

From the Desk of Mr. Ian Reed.

Office of the Director
British Finance Monitoring Unit.
Direct Tel#: +44-7024010618.

Attn: Sir,

It has come to our notice that a huge sum of money has been credited in your name for transfer and is currently floating in the international banking community.

Under the stipulated Law of the Government of Great Britain and other member countries of the United Nations,any huge amount of money that has been found in the international computer data system waiting to be transferred without claims for a period of 6 months or less, shall be confiscated and forfeited to the United Nations account.

STRICT NOTICE:You are warned and advised for your own good and for the delivery of this commission,to desist from any calls,emails,faxes and posted letters from any where in the world purporting to be assisting you in receiving your payment.No organization,Individual or groups of people are responsible for making your payment realistic except the British Financial Monitoring Unit, be wise please. Note:The British Financial Monitoring Unit is making this payment possible base on the Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) reached with the United States Government,British
Government,the European Union (EU),The Asian Government and the Arab World.All of them are all signatories to this payment procedure of which the United Nations has been officially and legally notified.

Our official dealing code with you is(BFMU2009).This code will guide and protect you from the intending scammers who would want to use this commission as a cover up to fraudulent activities. Any message you receive from any where in the world without our dealing code should be discarded and disregarded for your own good and we should be notified immediately because we don't want to take chances with this payment. We do hereby ask you to contact this office immediately for ratification within the 3 days of this notice or consider your fund confiscated.

FRAUD ALERT:Be careful from the messages that comes to you from all over the world through email,fax,telephone and posted letters purporting to be in charge of this payment or of assistance of any kind to you.Be informed that such messages are fraud traps set by the imposters to their to be victims.Such messages are normally purported by the so called imposters using bogus names,offices,banks,organizations and establishments acting to be the paymaster General in charge of your payment,beware please.There is no other body,office,banks, organizations,lawyers,or Government establishments that has been empowered, authorized and mandated to handle
this payment except this body and the Lloyds TSB bank in London under Rev.Dr.M.W.G.Roberts here in the UK of which we will be directing you to their right contact information to finalize your payment.We would not want you to fall a victim in the hands of all these illicit malpractical imposters, hackers and scammers.Please be warned and forward such illicit information’s to us for proper investigation, verification and advice.

We appreciate your urgent co-operation.

Mr. Ian Reed.
The Director,
British Finance Monitoring Unit.

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:THIS COMMUNICATION AND ITS ATTACHMENTS MAY CONTAIN NON-PUBLIC,CONFIDENTIAL OR LEGALLY PRIVILEGED INFORMATION.THE UNLAWFUL
INTERCEPTION,USE OR DISCLOSURE OF SUCH INFORMATION IS PROHIBITED.IF YOU
ARE NOT THE INTENDED RECIPIENT OR HAVE RECEIVED THIS COMMUNICATION IN
ERROR,PLEASE NOTIFY THE SENDER IMMEDIATELY BY REPLY EMAIL AND DELETE ALL
COPIES OF THIS COMMUNICATION AND ATTACHMENTS WITHOUT READING OR SAVING
THEM.


or maybe not .... this has got to be the very worst "we want to make you very rich" email scams I have EVER received.... the spelling is however brilliant... the grammar is a bit dodgy though ;)

Important Information please....

DEAR SIR,

URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM FREDERICK GOODWIN, LATE OF THE ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND, ENGLAND.

AFTER THE LOSS OF MY PRESTIGIOUS JOB MYSTERIOUSLY AS A RESULT OF POLITICAL INTERFERENCE BY GORDON BROWN, I WAS INFORMED BY OUR LAWYER, BELLO GAMBARI THAT, MY HOUSEKEEPER WHO AT THAT TIME WAS THE PRESIDENT OF THE LOCAL WOMENS INSTITUTE CALLED HIM AND CONDUCTED HIM ROUND HER APARTMENT AND SHOWED HIM FOUR METAL BOXES CONTAINING MONEY ALL IN FOREIGN EXCHANGE AND SHE EQUALLY MADE HIM BELIEVE THAT THOSE BOXES ARE FOR ONWARD TRANSFER TO HER BROTHER IN SWITZERLAND FOR PERSONAL INVESTMENT.

ALONG THE LINE, MY GOLDFISH DIED AND SINCE THEN THE BRITOSH GOVERNMENT HAS BEEN AFTER US, MOLESTING, POLICING AND FREEZING OUR BANK ACCOUNTS AND EVEN MY PET DOG, "WUFFLES" RIGHT NOW IS IN DETENTION. MY PERSONAL PENSION FUND WORTH US$22,000,000 HAS BEEN CONFISCATED BY THE GOVERNMENT. THE SWISS GOVERNMENT IS INTERROGATING MY HOUSEKEEPERS BROTHER ABOUT HER INVESTMEMTS AND SOME VITAL DOCUMENTS. IT WAS IN THE COURSE OF THESE THAT OUR LAWYER SAW YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS FROM THE PUBLICATION OF THE SCOTTISH BUSINESS PROMOTION AGENCY. THIS IS WHY I AM USING THIS OPPORTUNITY TO SOLICIT FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION AND ASSISTANCE TO HELP ME AS A VERY SINCERE RESPONSIBLE PERSON. I HAVE ALL THE TRUST IN YOU AND I KNOW THAT YOU WILL NOT SIT ON THIS MONEY.

I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN CARRYING THE FOUR METAL BOXES OUT OF THE COUNTRY, WITH THE AID OF SOME TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL, WHO STILL SHOW SYMPATHY TO MY FAMILY, TO A NEIGHBOURING COUNTRY (JERSEY) TO BE PRECISE. I PRAY YOU WOULD HELP US IN GETTING THIS MONEY TRANSFERRED OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY. EACH OF THESE METAL BOXES CONTAINS US$5,000,000 (FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) AND TOGETHER THESE FOUR BOXES CONTAIN US20,000,000.00(TWENTY MILLION UNITED STATESDOLLARS ONLY). THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT WE HAVE MOVED TO JERSEY.

THEREFORE, I NEED AN URGENT HELP FROM YOU AS A MAN OF GOD TO HELP GET THIS MONEY IN JERSEY TO YOUR COUNTRY. THIS MONEY, AFTER GETTING TO YOUR COUNTRY, WOULD BE SHARED ACCORDING TO THE PERCENTAGE AGREED BY BOTH OF US.PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS MATTER IS STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL AS THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT STILL HAS ME UNDER SURVAILLANCE.

YOU CAN CONTACT ME THROUGH MY FAMILY LAWYER AS INDICATED ABOVE AND ALSO TO LIAISE WITH HIM TOWARDS THE EFFECTIVE COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSACTION ON TEL/FAX N0:xxx-x-xxxxxxx AS HE HAS THE MANDATE OF THE FAMILY TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS AND BEST REGARD

SIR FRED GOODWIN

The joys of caring for an old tired engine

I've been hunched over the Pug today setting valve clearances, laboriously cranking the engine with a big ring spanner and watching the rise and fall of the valves....(sound like a Sting song)

The only reason I had to do it was because on idle the engine was starting to sound like somebody had tipped a bag of spanners into the cylinders... or sometimes like a Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers tap routine, but less fun to listen to....needless to say once I had the rocker box cover off it was easy to see why ... the clearance on the intake valves should be between 0.15mm and 0.20 all of them were above that which meant on fuel intake the valves were being opened later than they should have, so I went through all the valves on the intake side and got them to within less than a hairs breadth of each other......

The exhaust side was even worse, talk about slack !!! no wonder it sounded like Fred Astaire on start up.....put it this way on one of the valves I don't think I could even measure the gap it was that wide... so I went through the same procedure cranking the engine by hand and losing precious knuckle skin in the process as the big ring spanner slipped a few times... anyway in no time flat it was all done and dusted..... I was racing against daylight which was fading fast... I got to the moment where I put the key in the ignition and turned it, I have to admit I was biting my lip as it turned, not that I was expecting a loud bang or anything as a valve was pushed through the bonnet.... no don't be silly .....I started up the Pug and she ran as sweet as a nut... the annoying tap tap tap had gone.... so I took her for a spin and she flies now, much more responsive on the throttle and really wants to go when you floor it.... another home grown repair which cost me nothing except for my time and several layers of skin... I have to say I quite enjoy repairing the Pug it's a very easy car to fix.... (so far)

I do have a small niggling problem with the off side front brake calliper which seems to be seizing/grabbing.. but I'm sure when I have a bit of time and good weather, it will be in bits and polished back into shape.

No news on the job front I'm afraid, things are looking really desperate and seem to be getting worse economically, I spoke to one of my old colleagues from the company I used to work for and he told me there are only four people in the office now, which seems a bit ridiculous there were hundreds when I first joined.....