How do you make a Welshman go "WOOF!" ?

Well you start by having a plentiful supply of cardboard boxes and other burnable rubbish left over from Christmas and a small amount of petrol and a fleece .......

I am incredibly careful with petrol when starting a fire, it's a respect that I've learned over the years.... but apparently today I completely forgot about fumes and merrily poured about a cupful of petrol inside a cardboard box and carried it and the rubbish bag to our back garden... I usually dip a stick in petrol and light it then throw it on the petrol soaked combustibles.... not this time....

When I got down there I realised that I didn't have petrol to dip a stick in, so thought (stupidly) that I could light it and it would merely make a small "woof" and start the fire..... WRONG !!! the fumes had been building up inside the box whilst I walked down to the bottom of our side garden, building up nicely... waiting for that fateful spark of ignition....

I also hadn't figured on the petrol fumes infusing the right arm of my fleece so when I struck the death lighter and it didn't go "woof" I ventured in a little closer (as you do) and struck it again... THAT WORKED !!! and my sleeve did it's own mini woof.... I recoiled at great speed before the main wall of blue flame hit me..... but immediately felt my arm stinging..... I had singed off practically half of my forearm hair in one blast of lit hydrocarbon fuel.... you get that immediate "You idiot" feeling creep over you.... I'm not horribly disfigured (although some would argue that point.....), I'm not even blistered but my skin on my arm has definitely taken a fair few joules of heat today and it stings like hell !! I think I my skin is wavering on the shall I blister or shan't I ?... nothing so far... thank God it snowed last night.... I dived my forearm into the snow like Kwai Chang Caine from "Kung Fu"


Plus the smell of burning human hair is not THE most attractive smell this side of the Boots perfume counter.... coupled with the fact that the sleeve of my fleece was made by Standard fireworks by the looks of it..... it went up like blue touch paper.... ahhh well you live and learn (eventually).....

That'll teach me .... until the next time ;¬)