Monday, 10 March 2008

We are back from the Scottish wedding !

and it went very well :¬) apart from being delayed flying from Cardiff by 50 minutes because the co-pilot rang in sick, so we had to wait for another one, take off was very smooth, however the approach and landing at Glasgow airport was anything but smooth, to say it was like sitting in a see-saw with worn out bearings as we approached the airport would be an understatement, it was gut wrenching to say the least, and Boeing 737's tend to be pretty big to be flung about like that, I had to laugh at the demonstration by the flight attendants I could no more adopt the brace position as the seating on that plane was tight, if I had attempted the brace position there is no way I could get my head between my legs, as I had 4 inches of space in front of me and zero behind me, Sardines have better travelling conditions....and besides everybody knows the brace position isn't for your own protection it's for making your body more easily identifiable through dental records should you're just protecting your teeth !!! .....I mean after all, what use is putting your head between your knees, when you are hurtling towards the ground at 600 mph ? (lets face it, you're going to get slightly more than a nasty case of whiplash).....

Anyway.... all I can say is that I'm glad it was only just over an hour flying ...... and of course because Glasgow airport was the very same one some guy decided to try and make a bonfire out of, by driving his 4x4 loaded with petrol into the terminal, all cars were banned from picking up or dropping off...... anyway we eventually got our sewing machine......sorry..... hire car from Budget Car Hire, it was a Fiat Punto (flat as a bottom burp in a thunderstorm..... and that's being generous) I was considering stopping the car and checking to see if it actually had a petrol engine fitted or if as I suspected it was clockwork..... it's 0 - 60 could be measured in weeks and to top it all off.... it was pouring with rain (hello Scotland), it was so bad some poor motorist aquaplaned off the M8 and was sitting behind the crash barriers looking bewildered. I had no such fears though because I could walk faster than our hire car, and to aquaplane you have to be at speed.....which we had no chance of attaining with the prevailing wind and friction of the rain holding us back....

Anyway we eventually got to Andrea's brothers house and were greeted by the best man in his PJ's..(heavy night ?)... and it wasn't long after that that the sun came out the dark clouds dispersed and we were on our way to the Melville Castle hotel (see picture above) in our completely inadequate sewing machine. Melville castle is a very grand 4 star hotel and a perfect place for a Scottish wedding, it wasn't long before we were all seated and I had told Andrea not to worry about Freya playing up and that I would deal with her should she start screeching because it was after all her brothers wedding !!! Freya had been woken up at 3am that morning and was bundled into the car, flown to Scotland in a gut wrenching flight.... was definitely out of her comfort zone, anyway things seemed to be going ok right up until the Piper started piping the bride into the hall, at which point Freya opened her eyes like one of those vampires or the undead in those old Bella Lugosi films ....stared at me paused....thought about it for a second as she sampled the pipe music....and then proceeded to half moon her mouth in a downward position ready to show these Scottish people what a real welsh baby sounded like at a piercing 120db...and just before she started to banana and fill her lungs...... I made a ninja stealth exit through the side door and sat with her in the lobby, she eventually went to sleep and carried on sleeping during the entire wedding ceremony, I apparently fell asleep as well, but I strongly deny that.......even though it was an incredibly comfortable soft leather sofa, the ones that grab you and don't let you go... I was of course merely inspecting my eyelids for cracks, and getting up at 3am driving to Cardiff then flying to Glasgow then driving to Edinburgh had nothing at all to do with it one little bit.... ;¬).... honest

anyway before I knew it everybody was out and photographs were being snapped as I wiped the dribble from my suit lapel, I'm not sure if it was mine or Freya's but I told everybody it was hers....;¬) I mean she isn't going to contradict me at 4 months old now is she ? we got quite a few good pictures of the bride and groom and other ancillary guests...(we shall be putting them up on our photo website, if you're interested in seeing them let us know via an email and we will tell you how to get to it !!!)..... and No Ann or Christine there aren't any inappropriate kilt shots of Andrea's brother or any other Scotsman for that matter in any of them ;¬)

The wedding breakfast was delicious and Andrea was reduced to tears by the best man's speech, he was an old friend of hers and her brothers when she lived in Edinburgh, she basically lost the plot and got all girly & unnecessary and it was all down to her brother looking very happy with his new wife and how things were now all round :¬).... well you know how weddings effect women (rolls eyes...)

......Thankfully Freya slept through most of it speeches included, and once the live band was on that is what I think set her off for the night, she slept like a log through the entire evening and we had an amazing time, I even witnessed "strip the willow" which is almost an impossible dance to follow it's like watching a stand of DNA unfold before your eyes, I sat all of the Scottish dancing out (my excuse being I was Welsh, the reality is I have two left feet and would have taken people out with my ineptitude at all things regarding dancing or jigging about), but I did do some stylish Dad dancing later on with the help of a few tequila slammers knocked back with Andrea's Canadian relatives, (man can they drink ;¬) ).... and we have an open invite to visit Canada all we have to do is pay for the flights :¬).... so that's lovely.... I don't think I embarrassed anybody and that's probably because I was pretty much sober by the end of the night.....ish... well I was in a much better state than some I could mention :¬)

it was a completely mad party and the Scots certainly know how to throw one, eventually the night wound down, and unbeknownst to me Andrea had tipped off the live band that it was my birthday, so I was named and shamed and had happy birthday sang to me with all around clapping and shouting, as for buffday presents .....I got a fantastic blue cashmere jumper off my better half (it's really nice and she has been warned not to stick it in the tumble dryer this time !!!) and a bottle of Penderyn Welsh Whisky off the kids, my parents bought me a bottle of Jack Daniels and some cash from my in-laws for some Rioja(sigh).....always handy these days, the cash not the Rioja ;¬)

(anybody would think I drank a lot....tsk tsk...I don't by the way, never really liked the feeling of being drunk especially after my brush with certain death at the age of 13(?) with a bottle of Hennessey live and learn...)

we had a traditional Scottish breakfast minus the haggis.... which was much needed by a few.......... overall the whole stay was fantastic, the room was fantastic, the company excellent and I was sad to leave so soon.... the flight back was pretty uneventful and we landed at Cardiff Wales (Rhoose) airport at around 5pm in miserable weather and were driving home by 5:30pm, I picked up our daft Labrador "Roxy" from my parents around 8pm and we settled in glad to be home from our mad two days away....

and being a sucker for punishment I am off to my Aikido training tonight with the Xbox360 recluse..... no rest for the wicked it seems ;¬) no doubt I'll be posting from my hospital bed tomorrow after tonight's Aikido because at 45 you simply don't bend the same way you used to when you were 21

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