And for my next trick

I decided to walk over to the local tesco's today to get my lunch for a change, anyway I trudged across the sodden ground and walked past the discount tile warehouse and noticed they had blocked off a vehicle access port and had turfed over it, so I gingerly walked up it remembering the ground was sodden with a recent torrential downpour and probably extremely slippery, I got to Tesco's bought my sandwich and start the long walk back to the office......I got to the very same place and completely forgot they had recently turfed over this vehicle access port starting my walk up it ......fine.........started my walk down it.....and you know you get that moment every now and again where you should have been paying attention to where your feet were going ?

well I can quite honestly say I hold the distance record for surfing a grass turf (is this what they mean by "surf and turf" ? ) and finishing with a very artistic kneeling split all whilst texting on my phone, I got up and looked down at my knee which had ploughed up a considerable trench in the newly laid turf.......swore several times and continued back to work with the left trouser leg swinging under the weight of the mud I had collected, fortunately I was able to dry my shin off under the hand dryer and brushed the majority of the mud off once it was dry..... but lesson learned.....don't eat Tesco sandwiches !!!