Blessed are the bread makers

We were given an Anthony Worral Thomson Professional Bread maker as one of our wedding presents, I have to say it's pretty impressive as bread makers go, not your bog standard bread maker by any means, it has more buttons, recipes and LCD displays and flashing lights and beeps on it than the bridge of the Star Ship Enterprise, Capt Kirk would have been lost with it, and Mr Spock would simply have said "it's a bread maker Jim, but not as we know it"

Our first effort was a standard white loaf which I have to say turned out very nicely, even if it did take three and a half hours to bake and probably contributed another ½ ton of CO2 to our collective footprint and wiped out the entire penguin population of all islands north of Alaska as it dimmed the national grid in our area.

But it was very tasty, our next expedition into the bread making arena was a wholemeal loaf, unfortunately when baked and completed, this recipe could have been used in the Iraq war as a depleted uranium round, and would have easily taken out a Russian built T72 tank if thrown in anger at it, in fact I have approached the MOD and given the recipe stating that it may be a
cheaper alternative to the Chobham armour our Challenger tanks currently sport....

I knew it was wrong on every level, the very second I lifted the baking/mixing bowl out of the bread maker and dislocated my shoulder carrying it to the wire tray which sagged under it's immense weight as it fell under gravity out of the baking bowl. There were reports in the
Carmarthen Journal the next day of a suspected earth quake with it's epicentre in or around Carmarthen, little do they know ;¬)

that's one for the birds I think, although they will need JATO (jet assisted take off) rockets strapped to them to get airborne once more, Professor Stephen Hawking says black holes are the densest things in the universe, what does he know ???? He quite obviously hasn't seen a wholemeal loaf baked in a farmhouse near Meidrim yet!!!..... I'll throw it out for the birds once I can get a few men to help me get it out the door.....